Horse Head Masks for Halloween
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So, horse head masks are a thing. They’re big, creepy, simple, and sure to attract attention. They’re a great way to dress up for Halloween, and bonus—they’re the perfect Halloween masks for people who wear glasses, as they’re usually big enough to fit comfortably over glasses.
For every boy who can relate to Bojack Horseman and every girl who never got a pony for Christmas, wearing a horse head mask for Halloween is sure to win you the love and approval you’ve always been denied—if only for a night.
Whether you were born beautiful or ugly, whether you have two eyes or four, whether you’re a success or a failure—everyone can be popular in a horse head mask. People will laugh at you, people will touch you, put their arms around your shoulders, make jokes about the size of your member, and just maybe, for the first time in your life, they’ll actually listen when you talk. Just be sure to bring your camera, because you’re certain to be the life of the party. It’s sure to be a night to remember.
My favorite is the Hooded Horse Skull Mask; it’s super creepy. Do me a favor? Buy that one, put it on with a black robe and black gloves, then wander slowly through neighborhoods and don’t talk to anyone. Occasionally, stand completely still for 2 or 3 minutes at a time before moving on again. If someone gets close to you, don’t talk to them, just slowly raise your arm and point your finger at them. If you do this on Halloween night, you’ll be less likely to have the police called you, otherwise, proceed at your risk.